By Your Side

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you.

I heard this song on my way to work one morning after I heard the news that my grandfather probably wasn't going to be around much longer. I was having a difficult time with the news and was stopped at a railroad crossing and was just crying out to God that I wasn't going to be able to handle this on my own. I just didn't think I had the strength. This song immediately came on. If you haven't heard the whole song I encourage you to look up the lyrics or download it (it is by 10th Avenue North). God was trying to remind me there was no need to try and get through this alone; He was going to be there for me.

As many of you know, my grandfather (aka Poppy) passed away last week. The day that Brent and I announced we were pregnant to everyone was the day that Poppy was taken to the hospital for an infection that required surgery right away. I wasn't able to talk to him directly but I was told that he was super excited for us and told everyone in the hospital about our news. I can only imagine him smiling and giggling as Nanny told him the news.

I wasn't too concerned with him having to go to the hospital because for several years his health hasn't been what it was and plus I was pregnant nothing bad could happen. Well, I was wrong. With details I can't bear to relive, Poppy took his last breath last Sunday surrounded by his loving family.

Since I am pregnant it was advised that I shouldn't go to the hospital. Now I can only see that as a blessing because when I think about him, my mind doesn't have to fight images of him healthy and images of him in the hospital. I can simply see him the last time I saw him, sitting in his big blue chair, tv on, fussing at me over my tattoo. Despite my many attempts of waving my foot around, he didn't catch on til 6 months later. He always liked to fuss at me over changing anything; hair, piercing, etc. He always said he liked me just the way I was. Of course, knowing that these things bothered him, I always managed to go over there after a new hairdo, just to get a rise out of him. Even though he didn't like the change he still told me I looked nice.

I'm not sure there will be a day that will go by that I won't be tempted to pick up the phone just to hear his voice. Thanks to caller ID, he always knew when I was calling and would answer with a cheery 'hi.'

I was blessed with 26 years with Poppy and here are a few things I will miss...

1. His smell. The man loved to smell good! He did not leave the house without his Polo aftershave on whether he was going to the farm or church. Nanny even gave Kevin (the funeral director and our close family friend) a bottle so he could rub some on Poppy. Guess she thought he ought to smell good when he went to heaven.

2. The way he dressed. Now, other than smelling good, Poppy liked looking nice. So he would prefer for me to remember him in one of his suits, but that wasn't his everyday look. When I see him he is wearing his Red Wings, blue jeans, short sleeve button up, pocket protector in the left pocket of his shirt with an assortment of pens and pencils, and his ball cap.

3. How on Sunday mornings you'd swear you were at the opera house. He would sing his choir songs as he got ready and my brother and I would be sitting on the bed trying to watch cartoons, but couldn't hear the tv over Poppy. We giggled most of the time because when you are little you think people are crazy for singing in the shower.

4. His laugh. It was more of a hee hee kind of laugh instead of ha ha. You could always hear his laugh no matter where you were in the house.

5. Our Tuesday morning phone calls after watching the bachelor/bachelorette. Why he started watching this show I will not know, but he liked to call to do a show recap and talk about who we liked and wanted to win. We hardly ever picked the same one, but always agreed on who wouldn't get very far.

Pops, you will be truly missed by all who loved you. I know you are finally able to walk just the way you have dreamed about all these years. I love you!

It Was a DIY Kinda Saturday

I have been promising Brent that I would make us a headboard for our room for about a year now. Every time I found time to do it something would come up or I would have another project that needed to be done first. Well this weekend when our plans to go out of town changed I told Brent that we were making the headboard, no excuses. I was tired of him telling me how good the headboard looked (his cute way of reminding me to get it done).

So we woke up on Saturday headed to Hobby Lobby to get material; sweet they were running a sale on material. Lowe's for plywood, Wal Mart for batting (what no foam?), Hancock Fabrics for foam and back to Wal Mart for d-rings. We finally got home and I went to work. I think it took us longer to run around town for all the supplies then it did for me to make it and him to hang it. This is by far the easiest project I have done for the house. I was a little nervous that it wouldn't turn out the way I wanted but once we had it up I was satisfied, for now anyway. I am so glad to have this project done because I am bound and determined to have our room complete before we have to start working on the baby's room. I am so particular about what I want that it usually take me forever to decide on something. My final piece of the puzzle right now is curtains and I have been searching for curtains since last November! Hopefully I won't be this bad when it comes to the nursery or this poor child won't have a complete room when they are born!

Our finished product. Simple I know but who knows how long it will stay that way!

15 Weeks and The Big Debate

Today we went for our 15 week check-up. Everything was good and normal; heartbeat sounded good and I gained 3 POUNDS!!! Oops! My doctor said that I shouldn't worry about those 3 lbs; that I was allowed to gain that much, but HELLO! Guess I'm going to have to lay off those fries and chips I have been inhaling for the past couple of weeks! Dang and they were soooo good! But all good things must come to an end.

We also made our next appointment which will tell us if (as I put it to my parents) we see a Suzie or Willy. Brent and I are super excited and are counting down the days. Nov 4 is my appointment and trust me when I find out you will probably be able to hear my squeal from the doctor's office but in case you don't, I will of course post their first picture.

Now, to the debate part of my post. For the past couple of weeks Brent and I have had several debates about my growing belly or lack there of according to him. I keep assuring him that I am getting bigger and that I used to be able to button my pants. He, however, looks at my small swell and says he sees no change. REALLY? So each day it has been my goal to wear something that will assure him that I am getting bigger. This still doesn't help nor does him watching me bounce around the room trying to fit in my jeans. The boy just didn't get it. Well, lucky that all changed today. We had a bet going about my weight gain. He said none and I said 5 pounds. As soon as the nurse announced the number, I turned and said 'HA!' Of course then he had to tease me when discussing who was going to get the last piece of cake. With a big smile, he told me I looked like I needed cake. Hey its strawberry so it counts as a fruit, right? :)

How 'Bout them Niners!!!

Today is a great day...MY NINERS WON!!!!! This little fan is just excited and wishing the game would have been on here instead of watching Romo struggle. It has been awhile since I have been proud of my team, but I'm thinking this is their year!

WAY TO GO 49ERS!!!!!!

Oh and haters, I know they lost last week but the score was close and what can you do when Favre pulls a Favre.